Announcing the Engagement

If you are a family that likes to party, an engagement party is always a good reason to do so. Invite family members and close friends or invite every single person you know. The more the merrier.

Traditionally, this party is hosted by the bride's family, but it could also be hosted by the bride and groom if they choose, or another family member or a close friend.

Some reasons to have an engagement party might be:
1. so that you can tell all your family and friends at one time
2. your family and friends can meet the other person's family and friends
3. its a reason to celebrate and any reason to celebrate calls for a party

Some reasons you may choose not to have a party might be:
1. you don't like to plan parties and you think they are a waste of time
2. it is just another event that you have to plan and PAY for
3. you would pretty much be committing to inviting everyone from your engagement party to your wedding and you might not be ready to do that without more thought

If you do choose to have the party, it can range from a very formal affair to a backyard barbecue or anything in between. It should definitely fit the style of the bride and groom.

It should take place soon after the engagement occurs and at least 6 months before the wedding.

Do not invite anyone to the party who will not be invited to the wedding (that would be very tacky!)

Do not expect gifts, although people will probably start asking where you are registered when they find out you are engaged, so start thinking about that. Go ahead and register for a few things before the party if you like. Some people might bring a gift to the party, but since a gift is not required do not open gifts at the party (because then those who didn't bring a gift will think they should have and really, they were quite ok in NOT bringing a gift). Open the gifts after the guests leave. Be sure that you write thank yous for any gift you are given.

If you choose not to have a party, that is ok, too. It just gives you more money and energy to put into planning the wedding. And quite honestly, Starry Eyed Daughter is probably going to be showing her ring to every person she sees! So that is a pretty good way to announce the engagement.

Another way of announcing the engagement is to put a picture of the couple along with a short write up into your local newspaper. Contact your local paper for information on how and when to do this.

Step One--Set a Date

Probably the very first thing that the future bride and groom need to do is set a date. Weddings can be planned in a short amount of time. I had a friend whose daughter had a wedding 3 weeks after deciding to get married. WOW! Talk about a whirlwind!!

But 6 months or more is preferable. I think 9-12 months is ideal. However, it is not uncommon for an engagement to last longer than a year. Especially if you have your heart set on a very popular wedding or reception venue.

Each season of the year has its own beauty in terms of colors, flowers and decorating for the wedding. June has always been the wedding month. May is also very popular. And September and October are quickly gaining on May and June in popularity.

A couple things to consider: the more you want a certain day and month, the more other people will probably want it. A Saturday in June or October may be harder to book than a Friday night or Sunday afternoon in either month. Also, consider a less popular month. Many wedding vendors will actually give discounts for less popular dates or times. That is something to check out.

My daughter wanted a particular park for her wedding. I had never heard of the park so I didn't think there would be a problem reserving it for a May or June wedding. So I called immediately and found out that it was booked every Saturday from early May to late October. So they chose to have their wedding on Friday evening.

By choosing a Friday, we actually paid less for the rental fee and had no trouble getting the photographer, florist, caterer and cake maker that we wanted.

So, choice #1 in a long line of choices that need to be made--date and time of wedding.