Meet the Parents

Ideally, by the time of an engagement each person should have met the other person's family. If not, do so quickly. A lot can be learned about a future spouse by meeting his/her family:)

According to the traditional rules of wedding etiquette, after the engaged couple has told both sets of parents about the plans, the parents of the groom should contact the parents of the bride and give their congratulations (for what, I'm not sure--that they are acquiring a new son?)

My FS n L's mom sent a card with a picture of their family. I thought that was quite nice. I don't think she said congratulations--actually, I felt like congratulating her because her son had won my daughter's heart (LOL).

If the families live in the same town one set of parents might invite the other over for dinner or suggest meeting at a restaurant. This is a good way to get acquainted if you don't already know each other.

If the families live in different towns (or as in our case) different states, things get a little harder. Depending on circumstances (distance, cost, convenience, etc.) one family might travel to meet the other family.

In our case we traveled to meet FS in L's family because we had never met them, but also because our couple was going to live in their city after the wedding, and we wanted to see where they would be living!

Another thing you might think about is meeting somewhere in the middle between the two hometowns. Perhaps there is an interesting place to visit or a resort or nice hotel somewhere in the middle that would provide a pleasant meeting place.

The main thing is that it is important for the families to have met before the hectic wedding weekend begins.

There will be many things to discuss--after all your two families will be bound together for many years to come--sharing holidays, grandchildren and many other events.

If it is not feasible for the families to meet, at the very least the mothers should establish some form of communication--telephone or email.

Step One--Set a Date

Probably the very first thing that the future bride and groom need to do is set a date. Weddings can be planned in a short amount of time. I had a friend whose daughter had a wedding 3 weeks after deciding to get married. WOW! Talk about a whirlwind!!

But 6 months or more is preferable. I think 9-12 months is ideal. However, it is not uncommon for an engagement to last longer than a year. Especially if you have your heart set on a very popular wedding or reception venue.

Each season of the year has its own beauty in terms of colors, flowers and decorating for the wedding. June has always been the wedding month. May is also very popular. And September and October are quickly gaining on May and June in popularity.

A couple things to consider: the more you want a certain day and month, the more other people will probably want it. A Saturday in June or October may be harder to book than a Friday night or Sunday afternoon in either month. Also, consider a less popular month. Many wedding vendors will actually give discounts for less popular dates or times. That is something to check out.

My daughter wanted a particular park for her wedding. I had never heard of the park so I didn't think there would be a problem reserving it for a May or June wedding. So I called immediately and found out that it was booked every Saturday from early May to late October. So they chose to have their wedding on Friday evening.

By choosing a Friday, we actually paid less for the rental fee and had no trouble getting the photographer, florist, caterer and cake maker that we wanted.

So, choice #1 in a long line of choices that need to be made--date and time of wedding.

Be Picture Ready continued

I found a pilates video and an exercise ball that I actually got as a Mary Kay star consultant several years ago. They are in great condition--just like brand new--due to lack of use:) So I'll be trying it out later today. Stay tuned for my report.

Diet and exercise are long term commitments both for your health and well-being as well as to avoid shock when you first view a picture of yourself standing next to Starry Eyed Daughter. Or the feeling of frustration that comes when you can't find a mother of the bride dress that hides all the rolls:) If you and your daughter live together or near each other, it would also be a great thing to do together whenever possible. More bonding time, etc.

However, there is an easier way to ensure that you are picture ready for the big day. And that is by instituting a good, comprehensive skin care program.

There are many skin care programs on the market. If you don't already have a favorite, let me suggest my favorite--Mary Kay--for both mother and daughter.

Every good skin care program has 5 essential parts

1. Cleanse

2. Exfoliate

3. Tone or Freshen

4. Moisturize

5. Protect

Mary Kay does all this in 3 easy products. The TimeWise 3n1 Cleanser takes care of the first 3 steps. There is a formula for normal-dry skin and for combination-oily skin.

Wash your face morning and night with this cleanser, follow up with the TimeWise Moisturizer in the formula that best suites your skin type and finish with a foundation (morning only, of course).

If Starry Eyed Daughter's skin is oily, she might try the Velocity Products.

These are the very basic steps to good skin care. And if you haven't started taking care of your skin, start now. I'll talk more about anti aging, wrinkle fighting products in future posts.

I am passionate about anti aging. I used to think I just wanted to grow old gracefully. But when I started growing old and found out that I didn't feel old inside, I found that I didn't want to look old either. And trust me taking care of your skin is much easier than diet and exercise:):)

Makeup for the wedding day is something all brides (and their moms) are concerned about. But that makeup will look much better if the skin it is applied to is in tip top condition. Start today!

If you don't already have a good skin care program I invite you to visit my MK web site www.marykay.com/kparson. You can do a virtual makeover and there is even a link for brides. So visit and have fun. Oh and if you visit leave me a note and tell me you were there! (and a disclaimer--this blog is in no way affiliated with Mary Kay Cosmetics except through me--a long time user and fighter of wrinkles and fine lines!)

Now before I leave you to go put in that pilates video, I want to quote a friend who made a most memorable comment after she saw her daughter's wedding pictures.

"I told my husband... I know when we got fat, but when did we get old?" (Thanks for the great line, Deb!) Let that not be YOU!

Be Picture Ready on the Big Day

Today I'd like to talk about how you will look the day of the wedding. Yes, I know that the wedding is a year or more away unless your Starry Eyed Daughter is like mine and wants to have her wedding in 8 months.

Remember, on the day of the wedding YOU won't be the one holding the camera. Consequently, you will BE in at least a few of the pictures! So let's start now on a health and beauty regimen that will insure that you will be picture ready on the big day.

I'll start along with you. I didn't quite make it weight wise for my first daughter's wedding, so maybe if I get started with you now, I'll achieve success by the time of my second daughter's wedding:)

The first step is a consistent exercise program. If you don't currently exercise, start off slow and build up your time and endurance.

My favorite form of exercise is walking--either outside or on a treadmill or using an elliptical. Start with 10 or 20 minutes and work up to 45 minutes or an hour at least 4 times a week. If you are not already doing that, you'll be surprised by how good you will feel, both physically and mentally. Not only is it good for your body, it is good stress relief!

Pilates is something I am going to try--anyone already do pilates? I'll let you know about my efforts when I get started:) And for you fitness buffs, there are weights, machines and gyms. Go for it!

Along with exercise, of course, goes a sensible diet. I'll be writing more about this also as I get more motivated to join you in this endeavor. Feel free to write encouraging tips and let me know how you are doing with your eating habits!

There is much more to write about this topic, but it must wait until later. Until then...

The Whirlwind Begins

The phone rings or the doorbell chimes…it’s Starry Eyed Daughter with Handsome Boyfriend. “Guess what, Mom! We’re engaged!”

In the blink of an eye Handsome Boyfriend becomes Future Son in Law and your world is plunged into a whirlwind of wedding planning. If you are fortunate (like I was) you already like Future Son in Law and are ready to welcome him with open arms into your family. If you are not fortunate–well, that is the subject for a future post!

Going on the assumption that you like or even love Future Son in Law, we’ll begin the discussion with what to do after you’ve oohed and aahed over the beautiful ring and wondered how FSinL could have afforded it.

Here are my recommended first steps:

A. Sit down with Starry Eyed Daughter and FSinL and discuss some major things–namely budget and each one’s vision for the wedding. Include Dad in this discussion if he wants to be there. He will usually be most interested in the wedding budget and how FSinL is going to support his little girl:)

B. Have a 3 ring binder with pockets in which to keep notes, pictures, ads, ideas, business cards, etc.

C. Decide on the role that you as a mother will play in the wedding planning process. Several choices will be:

1 . major planner

2. passive bystander

3. supportive confidant (emotionally and financially)

Let your daughter tell you which one she wants you to be. Some girls want their mom to do it all. Some want their mom to let them run with it and some want you to be ready to step in whenever they need you. Remember, even though you’ll feel like this day belongs to YOU–it really belongs to HER.