Wedding Consultant--To Have or Not to Have

Someone you should consider hiring to help with your daughter's wedding is a wedding consultant. Wedding consultants provide services ranging from help with the wedding day all the way to planning, arranging and managing the whole affair.

You and your daughter need to decide how much help you will want. Quite honestly, the idea of handing the planning of the wedding over to a consultant did not appeal to me or Starry Eyed Daughter.

She and FS n L had definite ideas about what they wanted and did not want anyone "telling them what to do." And I had loved weddings since I was a little girl, so I was quite happy to avoid the extra expense of a wedding consultant.

Everything was proceeding on schedule. We had the location, the photographer, the caterer, the dress...everything seemed under control. A couple months into the engagement, Starry Eyed Daughter and I attended a Bridal Fair.

There were only a few vendors that we were looking for--florist, cake maker, videographer. We happened to stop by a display, and my daughter began talking to a woman who used to work at the high school she attended.

She now had her own wedding consulting business. We chatted for a few minutes and then continued through the bridal fair.

A few weeks later I suddenly became gripped with fear. How could I pull this wedding off smoothly? I got nervous just having the entire family to the house for holidays! What was I thinking?

So, unbeknownst to my daughter, I called the wedding planner and met with her and her partner. We discussed her services which could be as much or as little as I wished.

Since by this time we had most of the vendors, we did not need much help with that. But what I hired her to do was help me with making the timeline for the wedding day and to be there to make sure everything got done correctly.

The wedding was going to be outdoors in a park with the reception to follow in the park lodge. The only thing provided by the park were the facilities and tables and chairs. So I was concerned about pulling everything together.

Debbie and Dania from For All Occasions Events were wonderful. They listened to our ideas and gave good suggestions. They were very reassuring that we would have a beautiful wedding. They help Starry Eyed Daughter get everything into the schedule for the wedding day--including an afternoon of picture taking, and they saw that the ceremony and reception came off without a hitch.

One thing I learned--have someone besides yourself do the decorating on the day of the wedding. My sister in law was making the flower arrangements so she was there to help. My sister and her daughter also helped.

But, because I didn't think it would take as much time as it did, I had not written down or given anyone directions for how it should look. Only in my mind was it recorded. And I had turned down the help of a couple good friends because I thought I had enough help.

Therefore, I spent too much of my time that day with decorating when I could have given others the information, supplies and let them do the work.

When my Darling Dancer Daughter gets married, I will spend the extra $$ to hire Debbie and Dania to do the decorating. It would definitely make for a less stressed out mother of the bride on the wedding day!

Meet the Parents

Ideally, by the time of an engagement each person should have met the other person's family. If not, do so quickly. A lot can be learned about a future spouse by meeting his/her family:)

According to the traditional rules of wedding etiquette, after the engaged couple has told both sets of parents about the plans, the parents of the groom should contact the parents of the bride and give their congratulations (for what, I'm not sure--that they are acquiring a new son?)

My FS n L's mom sent a card with a picture of their family. I thought that was quite nice. I don't think she said congratulations--actually, I felt like congratulating her because her son had won my daughter's heart (LOL).

If the families live in the same town one set of parents might invite the other over for dinner or suggest meeting at a restaurant. This is a good way to get acquainted if you don't already know each other.

If the families live in different towns (or as in our case) different states, things get a little harder. Depending on circumstances (distance, cost, convenience, etc.) one family might travel to meet the other family.

In our case we traveled to meet FS in L's family because we had never met them, but also because our couple was going to live in their city after the wedding, and we wanted to see where they would be living!

Another thing you might think about is meeting somewhere in the middle between the two hometowns. Perhaps there is an interesting place to visit or a resort or nice hotel somewhere in the middle that would provide a pleasant meeting place.

The main thing is that it is important for the families to have met before the hectic wedding weekend begins.

There will be many things to discuss--after all your two families will be bound together for many years to come--sharing holidays, grandchildren and many other events.

If it is not feasible for the families to meet, at the very least the mothers should establish some form of communication--telephone or email.

Be Picture Ready continued

I found a pilates video and an exercise ball that I actually got as a Mary Kay star consultant several years ago. They are in great condition--just like brand new--due to lack of use:) So I'll be trying it out later today. Stay tuned for my report.

Diet and exercise are long term commitments both for your health and well-being as well as to avoid shock when you first view a picture of yourself standing next to Starry Eyed Daughter. Or the feeling of frustration that comes when you can't find a mother of the bride dress that hides all the rolls:) If you and your daughter live together or near each other, it would also be a great thing to do together whenever possible. More bonding time, etc.

However, there is an easier way to ensure that you are picture ready for the big day. And that is by instituting a good, comprehensive skin care program.

There are many skin care programs on the market. If you don't already have a favorite, let me suggest my favorite--Mary Kay--for both mother and daughter.

Every good skin care program has 5 essential parts

1. Cleanse

2. Exfoliate

3. Tone or Freshen

4. Moisturize

5. Protect

Mary Kay does all this in 3 easy products. The TimeWise 3n1 Cleanser takes care of the first 3 steps. There is a formula for normal-dry skin and for combination-oily skin.

Wash your face morning and night with this cleanser, follow up with the TimeWise Moisturizer in the formula that best suites your skin type and finish with a foundation (morning only, of course).

If Starry Eyed Daughter's skin is oily, she might try the Velocity Products.

These are the very basic steps to good skin care. And if you haven't started taking care of your skin, start now. I'll talk more about anti aging, wrinkle fighting products in future posts.

I am passionate about anti aging. I used to think I just wanted to grow old gracefully. But when I started growing old and found out that I didn't feel old inside, I found that I didn't want to look old either. And trust me taking care of your skin is much easier than diet and exercise:):)

Makeup for the wedding day is something all brides (and their moms) are concerned about. But that makeup will look much better if the skin it is applied to is in tip top condition. Start today!

If you don't already have a good skin care program I invite you to visit my MK web site www.marykay.com/kparson. You can do a virtual makeover and there is even a link for brides. So visit and have fun. Oh and if you visit leave me a note and tell me you were there! (and a disclaimer--this blog is in no way affiliated with Mary Kay Cosmetics except through me--a long time user and fighter of wrinkles and fine lines!)

Now before I leave you to go put in that pilates video, I want to quote a friend who made a most memorable comment after she saw her daughter's wedding pictures.

"I told my husband... I know when we got fat, but when did we get old?" (Thanks for the great line, Deb!) Let that not be YOU!

Be Picture Ready on the Big Day

Today I'd like to talk about how you will look the day of the wedding. Yes, I know that the wedding is a year or more away unless your Starry Eyed Daughter is like mine and wants to have her wedding in 8 months.

Remember, on the day of the wedding YOU won't be the one holding the camera. Consequently, you will BE in at least a few of the pictures! So let's start now on a health and beauty regimen that will insure that you will be picture ready on the big day.

I'll start along with you. I didn't quite make it weight wise for my first daughter's wedding, so maybe if I get started with you now, I'll achieve success by the time of my second daughter's wedding:)

The first step is a consistent exercise program. If you don't currently exercise, start off slow and build up your time and endurance.

My favorite form of exercise is walking--either outside or on a treadmill or using an elliptical. Start with 10 or 20 minutes and work up to 45 minutes or an hour at least 4 times a week. If you are not already doing that, you'll be surprised by how good you will feel, both physically and mentally. Not only is it good for your body, it is good stress relief!

Pilates is something I am going to try--anyone already do pilates? I'll let you know about my efforts when I get started:) And for you fitness buffs, there are weights, machines and gyms. Go for it!

Along with exercise, of course, goes a sensible diet. I'll be writing more about this also as I get more motivated to join you in this endeavor. Feel free to write encouraging tips and let me know how you are doing with your eating habits!

There is much more to write about this topic, but it must wait until later. Until then...